“When I was younger my dad was very violent towards my mum, situated around alcohol. There were probably quite a few times when me and my brothers witnessed it a lot, and it was mostly when he would come home drunk. My mum endured that all the way up until I was thirteen and that’s when my dad actually left her for another woman. So that was horrific, the last time my dad beat my mum was just the most, the most, absolutely the most … I never want to see that again, and we just saw the aftermath of it.”
– Waitonga, Māori – Aotearoa New Zealand, 2017
“I thought I’m not going to be in that same situation but unfortunately, I ended up right there. He was an islander, violence around alcohol, drugs as well and other women. My daughter was born when I was16. The violence started happening until about when she was two. At that time, I didn’t see it because I was just going through it, but then my mum could see it and she was telling me but I did not listen, I did not listen, I did not see it. I know I reported probably twice but there have been over nine incidents of physical violence towards me. One day, I couldn’t stand it anymore, just like walking around and seeing people your partner has slept with, I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t even handle my kids going to the same school as their kids. So, the last straw was that one, I just felt stupid and if I stayed I would be more stupid, so I left. It was the best decision I made, and I really wish I did listen to my mum and do it sooner.
When I left him, I started going to counselling, I started to do some healing on my own by exercising, eating right, losing weight and focusing on my four kids. I decided to go to study a graduate diploma in secondary school teaching and I have just been given a scholarship for teaching Maori. Everything is falling into place, my kids seem so much happier.
I hope my daughters will not become a part of this cycle.”
– Waitonga, Māori – Aotearoa New Zealand, 2017