Healing
“This image always makes me think of those holy cards we got at school that showed Jesus’ hands clasped in prayer. It’s an image of helping, of healing, of weaving, of joining. It seems so powerful and holy to me. This surgery can be seen as controversial. Some people talk of amputation and mutilation. It’s […]…
Testicles
“I think maybe this image is pretty confronting – if you’re a guy. Is it? I dunno what a guy thinks about his balls. They’re the source of manhood, of life-giving – for him, I suppose. But they just look like some dubious, asian delicacy to me. I feel better now they’re gone. I was […]…
Set
“They tied and trussed me up like a Christmas turkey about to give birth. Swathed in green sheets; legs wide apart in stirrups; arms akimbo and clamped with monitors. My head was behind a screen so I wouldn’t see what was happening. I could hear though. I heard some amazing things going on!” – Paula […]…
Ready
“A moment of gallows humour? Someone says something funny while we wait for the anaesthetic to take effect. I came to the decision for surgery by slow degrees, by following the recommended path towards certainty. It was a long journey. Since coming to my decision I have never had any doubts, any regrets. Of course, […]…
Epidural
“The birth analogy continues. I curl tightly into a foetal position about to give birth to myself. The anaesthetist prepares to give me my spinal block. ‘Sweetie, you’ll have to hunch yourself tighter for me.’ Dr Haertsch uses a spinal block and twilight anaesthesia. I will be conscious, though drowsy, throughout the two-hour operation. There […]…
Journey
“Thudding through perspex door after perspex door. Overhead, bright lights slide by. Rubber soles and rubber tyres. Down through the long, deep labyrinth…the birth canal…to a new beginning.” – Paula Kaye 2003…
Name
“The theatre sister asks me my name. ‘Paula Kaye’. She has wrapped up her hair in a pink scarf. She looks like an angel. I give myself up into her care. Tremulous, trusting.” – Paula Kaye 2003…
Waiting
“All prepped up and ready for surgery. The moment I never believed possible is here. I am very emotional. I clasp my darling Alex’s hand, tightly. He has been with me, beside me, all throughout. I pray, “Oh! My Goddess! I give myself unto thy care that I may be thy handmaiden to serve thee […]…
Sleeping Beauty
“Becoming Woman is really about Revealing Woman. The woman who has always, some way, been there – hidden, asleep. The various procedures of transition – like electrolysis and surgery – are all about chipping away the concealing stone, feature by feature, to reveal the woman beneath. The transsexual woman must be her own Prince Charming, […]…
Closeup
“It’s the length and intensity of the treatment necessary that makes electrolysis such a test of endurance for the transsexual woman. 200 to 300 hours. 2 to 3 hours a session. 32 needles every six to eight minutes. $15 – 20,000 by the time she’s finished. I lay stretched out on my back. After a […]…